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afteramen.

Honesty, Ego, and Being a Vessel

Published 4 days ago • 2 min read

What truth are you ignoring because you don't like the messenger?

Recently, a former colleague was in need of support. And I had the capacity and resources to help.

But I didn’t.

Not because I didn't want to help, but because history has proven this colleague was not willing to receive support from me.

So I started strategizing...who else could deliver this resource? Who could I route guidance through so the resources would be accepted and, more importantly, reach the young people who needed it?

But I was stopped in my tracks by a new question…

How much are we losing — how many people aren't being served, how many tools are slipping through our fingers — simply because we're holding onto an idea about the person who offered it?

What's at stake when our unhealed spaces or insecurities act as gatekeepers? Who’s at stake when we block new levels of understanding that could serve the people entrusted to us?

What truth are you ignoring because the person who said it bruised your ego, disagrees with you politically, or exited your life badly?

Acts 16 is famous for the earthquake that freed Paul and Silas from prison. But what actually landed them in prison often gets glossed over. Their crime? They cast a demon out of an enslaved girl who had been following them around shouting, "These men are servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to you the way of salvation!"

Thing is, she was theologically correct….she was also enslaved, exploited, and spiritually compromised. Paul became so annoyed with her he eventually cast the demon out. Not because what she said was wrong, but because of who she was.

Mirrors reflecting back our best and worst traits can emerge even from hostile or compromised witnesses.

And maybe that's the point we miss when we rush to the prison scene in Acts 16. Before the singing, before the earthquake, before the dramatic conversion, there was this uncomfortable truth-teller nobody wanted to listen to — not even the disciples who knew she was right.

We often want truth to arrive respectably. From people we admire, who have it all together, who've never hurt us.

The 16th chapter of Acts became famous for what happened in the prison…but maybe we should spend more time thinking about what happened on the street.

When we fail to receive truth because of who delivers it, we fail to grow. And when we fail to grow, we have less to pass on to others. Sometimes what we need to hear is being shouted by the very people we're trying not to notice.
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Now, I’m no victim. And my colleague is certainly no villain. I didn’t end up sending that support through someone else, but I am still chewing on the questions it surfaced…

What truth have you dismissed because of who said it?

Who won’t get something they could use from you as a result?

How might you become a greater resource if your ego wasn't gatekeeping?

I love you.

Coi Marie

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afteramen.

Devotional content for faith that lives in your whole life — not just your Sunday mornings.

Here, you’ll find what was always yours — His promises and the permission to take up space. Because what you believe should show up in how you walk, how you rest, how you ask, and how you receive.

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